Doc and I were waiting at the vet the other day for my monthly pedicure, when a four-legged furry object emerged from the doctor’s office. What threw me off was the plastic cone around his neck. He looked like a space alien dog, so I did what I always do when I feel scared, I backed up and let out a quiet low growl.

Realizing it was just a dog I asked him, “Why are you wearing that cone around your neck?”  A look of shame flushed across his face and as he turned away from me he replied, ” They altered my manhood.” “OMG, they do that thing around here, what kind of sick place is this?” At that moment, the cone-wearing dog looked down between my legs and said “dude, your manhood has been altered too.”

With that one statement, I felt myself slipping into an altered state of reality and almost fainted. When I was able to compose myself I turned, looked at Doc in the eye and said, “Did you know about this?”

It was the first time I ever heard her stammer. ” You were just a puppy and they put you to sleep first, I did it because I didn’t want you to get another dog pregnant. It’s not like we need more unwanted puppies in the world.” Then Doc dropped her head oh so slightly and said ” I’m sorry Grover, I should have told you.”

I couldn’t believe she kept something that important from me. Our relationship is supposed to be based on trust. At that moment I started to wonder, what else has she kept from me? It was if Doc was reading my mind when she said, ” That’s the only thing I never talked to you about, I just thought you were too young to understand. From now on, no more secrets.”

The vet, who had been listening in on our conversation said ” If you’re interested Grover, they do make prosthetic replacements.” And with that, Doc and I looked at each other, wished him a good day and left.