Monsters In the Closet

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There’s a lot of evil that lives in the deep dark abyss of Doc’s hallway closet and I’m not embarrassed to say it frightens me.

For starters, that is where the scary vacuum resides. I hate everything about that vacuum, so when I hear the closet door open and I see Doc pull it out I run and hide. What kind of man-made thing has the ability to suck up some pretty large objects and just disappear? When I was younger I use to bark at it, but all it did was continue to move toward me while making those loud whirling noises, so I have learned to retreat and keep a safe distance. I am terrified that I might get sucked up in that thing some day, so I try not to agitate it.

That is not the only object in the closet that is scary. Some of the things we find in there even frighten Doc. Once she leaned down to grab a glove that fell on the floor and found on old shriveled up piece of broccoli one of the kids must have hidden in there so they didn’t have to eat it. It was so disgusting even I didn’t want it.

There are some pretty large hair balls that end up there too. I suppose they choose the closet as their final resting place thinking they will be safe there in the dark behind the snow boots. They are able to live there peacefully for a long time, lulled into a false sense of security. Then once or twice a year, Doc decides it’s time to remove everything from the closet and get rid of the stuff we don’t use any more. While cleaning, she spots those big hair balls and with a look of disgust, she plugs in the vacuum. With one big sucking noise they meet their maker before they even realize what has happened. RIP hairball, better you than me.

Late at night, when the house is asleep I know I hear some bumping and low growling noises coming from that closet. I hide under Doc’s bed where it is safe. I have learned that some things in this life are best left undisturbed.

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