It is time for me to succumb to the human custom of the New Year’s Resolution. I am only two, but I have already observed that resolutions are made to be broken. Statistics show that only 8% of the resolutions made, are kept. That’s pretty sad, people.
I found out that the top five resolutions for humans are; loose weight, get organized, spend less, enjoy life, and get fit and healthy. No wonder you break them, you bore yourselves to death trying to stay interested in them. So, I went on the internet to get some ideas. I came across something interesting that might be helpful, if not for me, then for the rest of you.
According to Chris Allison, some of the top resolutions for Red Necks are the following: 1. Take down the Christmas tree from 2007, 2. Stop the dog from trying to dig up cousin Wilbur, 3. Replace the duct tape on the toilet seat, 4. Fish the cell phone from the porta potty so we can retrieve our wedding pictures and 5. Finally wear a shirt to church. At least those sounded useful.That got me to thinking about my own resolutions. Doc helped me come up with some, but then I went back and made some moderations I can live with.
Grover’s 2015 New Year’s Resolutions
I will keep my nose where it belongs
1.I will keep my nose where it belongs unless there is a butt sniffing emergency and that usually happens several times a day
I will not bark when I hear a doorbell on the TV
2. I will only bark when dogs walk by the house, sirens go by, the UPS man comes to the door, a squirrel is in the yard or when I feel like it.
I will stop eating dirty tissues out of the trash
3. I will only eat dirty tissue out of the trash when no one is looking
I will stop manipulating humans
4. I will train humans to give me what I want by acting cute
I will stop running through the house with Doc’s unmentionables when guests are visiting
5. I will only run through the house with clean under garments when company is visiting.
Well, those are my resolutions. Good luck keeping yours. I will keep you posted on mine. Until then have a safe and Happy New Year!