It is time for me to succumb to the human custom of the New Year’s Resolution. I am only two, but I have already observed that resolutions are made to be broken. Statistics show that only 8% of the resolutions made, are kept. That’s pretty sad, people.

I found out that the top five resolutions for humans are;  loose weight, get organized, spend less, enjoy life, and get fit and healthy. No wonder you break them, you bore yourselves to death trying to stay interested in them. So, I went on the internet to get some ideas. I came across something interesting that might be helpful, if not for me, then for the rest of you.

According to Chris Allison, some of the top resolutions for Red Necks are the following: 1. Take down the Christmas tree from 2007, 2. Stop the dog from trying to dig up cousin Wilbur, 3. Replace the duct tape on the toilet seat, 4. Fish the cell phone from the porta potty so we can retrieve our wedding pictures and 5. Finally wear a shirt to church. At least those sounded useful.That got me to thinking about my own resolutions. Doc helped me come up with some, but then I went back and made some moderations I can live with.

Grover’s 2015 New Year’s Resolutions

 1. I will keep my nose where it belongs  

1.I will keep my nose where it belongs unless there is a butt sniffing emergency and that usually happens several times a day

 2. I will not bark when I hear a doorbell on the TV

2. I will only bark when dogs walk by the house, sirens go by, the UPS man comes to the door, a squirrel is in the yard or when I feel like it.

3. I will stop eating dirty tissues out of the trash

3. I will only eat dirty tissue out of the trash when no one is looking

4. I will stop manipulating humans

4. I will train humans to give me what I want by acting cute

 5. I will stop running through the house with Doc’s unmentionables when guests are visiting

5. I will only run through the house with clean under garments when company is  visiting.

Well, those are my resolutions. Good luck keeping yours. I will keep you posted on mine. Until then have a safe and Happy New Year!

 Looking out the window into the darkness, I could see the stars twinkling between the snow flakes. A cold wind was whistling outside. Doc’s family had arrived and were warm in front of the fire. Tired after a long drive they were sprawled out on the couch watching “Christmas Vacation” on the TV. The scent of fresh baked cookies waffled through the air.

I heard the rattle of the leash and ran to the back door where Doc was bundled up for our evening walk. She looked down at me and smiled and we headed out into the cold Christmas Eve night. The world outside was quiet, as families huddled in their homes completing last minute holiday chores. Lights of all colors decorated the outside of the homes we passed, helping to brighten the way.

As we walked, Doc reminisced about her her childhood holidays and how special her parents had made them. She told me her father standing at 6’4″ would convince the children that he was one of Santa’s Elves and kept a list of who was naughty or nice. No one ever questioned how an elf could be that tall. It was just part of the magic. Doc’s mom made sure the house looked festive and cooked enough food to feed the masses. Carols played on the stereo as her father hung the stockings over the fireplace on Christmas Eve. Soon the children were hustled off to bed so that Santa could arrive. Elves on the shelves kept watch. Looking up into Doc’s face, I could see she had been transported to a different time. There was a soft sparkle in her eyes.

Before long, we arrived back at the house and welcomed the warmth as we entered through the door. Pausing, Doc looked down at me and  told me it was time to go to bed so that Santa could come. “Remember I am one of his elves.” she said with a chuckle “and I tell him which puppies have been naughty or nice.” I went straight to bed.

Doc and I wish all of you and your loved ones a beautiful holiday season and a Happy New Year!

 

 

‘Twas Christmas Eve

‘Twas Christmas Eve,

and all through the house

Doc was scurrying around,

like a frantic little mouse;

❄

The stockings weren’t hung,

the packages weren’t wrapped,

And Christmas was starting to feel

like a big commercial trap.

❄

Puppies Grover and Vixen

all snug in their beds,

Had visions of dog treats

dancing in their heads;

❄

Then out in the yard

there arose a large clatter,

Both human and beast yelled

“what is the matter?”

❄

Out the front door

we flew like The Flash,

Slipped off the front porch

and landed with a crash.

❄

The moon and the street lights

on the new fallen snow,

Lit up the dark

on the objects below,

❄

When what to our tired old eyes

did appear,

But a big brown truck,

grinding it’s gears,

❄

With a robust old driver

steering the van,

We knew in a moment

It’s the UPS man!

❄

A bundle of boxes

he put on his dolly,

And he looked just like Santa

all happy and jolly.

❄

When Doc saw the boxes

she let out a sigh,

“I’ll be wrapping those packages,

til the fourth of July.”

❄

” The goose isn’t cooked,

I feel stuck in a trap,

And all I want for Christmas

is a long winter’s nap.”

❄

The jolly old man said,

“don’t worry my dear,

that’s not the most important thing

this time of year.”

❄

“It’s about family and friends

and keeping them close,

It’s the love in our hearts,

That’s what matters the most.”

❄

And just as he said that,

We saw in the sky,

A bright shining star

In the heavens so high;

❄

We gazed at the star

On this silent night,

Thankful for all

we have in this life;

❄

Turning to thank

the jolly old man,

He was already leaving

in his big brown van;

❄

But we heard him shout out

as he drove out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all,

and a pleasant good night.”

 

Grover’s adaptation of the poem Twas The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clark Moore

Talk about cheap, or maybe frugal is a nicer word. The other day, Doc walked into the family room, bumped into the piano and dropped her reading glasses on the hardwood floor. Crack! The frame broke at the corner and the lens went flying across the room. Now, those glasses only cost her three dollars at the discount store. Most people would just go get another pair. Not Doc. She went to the cupboard, got out the Super Glue and tried to glue the frame back together. In the process she glued her fingers to the glasses. When she realized what she’s done, she got mad, started yelling and tried to shake the glasses off of her fingers. I went and hid behind the couch so she wouldn’t see me doubled over in laughter.

She walked around the house with the glasses stuck to her fingers for awhile until she remembered she could use nail polish remover to get them unstuck. After the amputation, she did what she should have done in the beginning. She got in the car, drove to the discount store and bought another pair of three dollar glasses. I swear, you humans make your lives so complicated sometimes.

Black Friday came a day early to Doc’s house. I’m not talking about the kind of Black Friday where you get up in the middle of the night and then wait in a five hour line to score a flat screen at Walmart. I am talking about the gloom and doom kind of Black Friday where all heck breaks loose.

The family read the  blog about the dropped turkey and they were not happy. Drilling Doc like a bunch of CIA operatives, they tried to get to the nighty gritty of the meal preparation. I was startled by their reaction. How could anyone get that out of sorts over a dirty turkey? I eat nasty stuff all the time and enjoy it. Well finally Doc’s ninety one year old Aunt Pat came to her defense saying ” now everyone just hush up, a few germs never hurt anyone and they help to strengthen the immune system.” I guess she would know.

Before long, they all calmed down and started eating. For all their complaining, they skinned that turkey to the bone, ate all the sides and pie for dessert. It’s amazing how good food makes you forget about your troubles. I do hope Doc learned a lesson though. Like her grandpa use to tell her when he caught her in a lie ” Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to deceive.”