COVID and Colonoscopies

Photo by Angela Kirk

Healthy dogs like myself get taken to see the veterinarian about once a year but if you are older than dirt like Doc, apparently there are all sorts of medical exams and tests they like to run on you. In the past few weeks Doc has been catching up on her medical check ups and exams that were postponed because of COVID. She has had her eyes examined, her ears and nose checked out and  her teeth cleaned, but this Friday she is having the mother of all exams called a colonoscopy. Apparently there is a lot involved in preparing for this test and after Doc explained it to me I am sure glad dogs don’t have to do this.

As we are in the middle of a pandemic, part of the preparation was a request by the doctors to be tested for COVID prior to the actual procedure. Since they were sending Doc to a outdoor testing site, I got to ride along. When we arrived we pulled up in our car and nice smiling nurses all dressed up in their PPE  approached the car and after checking Doc’s ID to make sure she wasnt’s using an allias she was instructed to tilt her head back and grip the steering wheel very hard apparently so that she could brace herself for what was about to happen. Then one of the smiling nurses gingerly stuck a very long swab that looked to be about 2 foot long up each nostril. As we we were driving away all Doc would say was ” it felt like they were probing my brain.”

Thursday is the game changer and the day I am not looking forward to as the prep for the testing will start. She has to be on a clear liquid diet that I know will make her grouchy and leave me without table scraps. Then at about four in the afternoon she will start of drinking what looks like a few gallons of some awful mixture that Doc says works like an atomic cleaning fluid for your colon. She says this prep will go on for hours, so I have decided to play it smart and lay low over at my friend Norman’s house until it’s over.

On Friday morning Doc’s nephew Scott will come and drive her to the medical clinic. Doc says columnist Dave Berry described it best when he said that basically they wheel you into the procedure room where an anesthesiologist puts you to sleep and then the doctor puts a 17,000 foot tube up your behind. I’m not sure what they are looking for but just hearing about it is enough to make me faint.

Hopefully when it’s over the doctor will tell her what a nice looking colon she has. Then we can all get some rest and look forward to not having to do this again for another 5 years.

Finding Solitude

Photo by Angela Kirk

My early morning walks with Doc are my favorite part of the day. Nature is waking from it’s slumber and it is peaceful and still in the world. When we are out in nature at that hour it reminds me of the quote that Doc likes to repeat from Henry David Thoreau, ” Live in each season as it passes; drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”

It is so easy for you humans to get caught up in the frantic rhythm of life. The cacophony of sounds that fill your days and bombard your senses are only a distraction. I have also noticed the stress that it brings into your lives. Please explain to this dog how engaging in all the popular rantings of the day through social media and television help to resolve anything. Because I care, my advice to you is if it agitates you, disengage. It’s your choice what and who you allow in to your life.

This morning as we walked down the hill toward the park, I noticed the fog rising off of the pond in the distance. I couldn’t image any where else I would rather be. Maybe it’s your time to refocus and embrace the solitude of nature. Doc and I both guarantee that you won’t be sorry.

It’s A Thankless Job, But Somebody Has To Do It.

Photo by Angela Kirk

As we enter into the fifth month of working from home, I realized that Doc could benefit from having an on site supervisor. Left to her own devices, she may be slacking on her duties. No one is watching, so who knows what the heck she is doing all day. Up until now I have been assuming that she was upstairs in her office working while I nap downstairs in the middle of her bed, but lately I have been getting suspicious so I decided it was time to make it my business to find out.

When you are on a reconnaissance mission, the first thing you need to do is act casual. I knew she could hear my paws as I was coming up the steps. She acknowledged me with a nod, but she was busy talking to one of our patients whose voiced I recognized. I casually sauntered past her desk and acted like I was just looking out the window so I could see what was on her computer. To my surprise it was the patient’s record. I thought I might catch her on Facebook, Twitter or Tick Tock, but she was actually working. After about two hours of keeping my eye open for any indiscretion, I became bored and fell asleep on the floor beside her desk. I was aroused from my slumber when Doc woke me up after she was finished with her last patient.

“Why did you stay in the office all day today?’ she asked. “Well, I confessed sheepishly, I was trying to see if you were really working all day or if you were goofing off.” Then Doc gave me that look. “When people pay you to do a job, you do it, that’s called maturity. Besides, you know that people are counting on us and we have a responsibility to be there for them.”  “Well now I feel bad for being suspicious,” I said with a hint of shame. ” Oh Grover, it’s ok, it’s just another lesson you have learned today. You know what they say, the true test of a person’s character is what they do when none is watching.”