We have not checked the mail in a very long-time, so let’s see what questions you have for this canine.

Dear Grover,

Does it ever bother you that you cannot compete in events like Westminster or The National Dog Show because you are considered a mutt? It bothers me sometimes. What do you think Grover?

-Bailey

Dear Bailey,

The reality is that all canines are mutts. Dogs are mixes of different canine ancestors of all types. Just check their DNA. Now that being said, purebreds are classified as such based on the precise record keeping of their lineage. Not so for regular mutts. No telling who their baby daddy might have been. So there you have it.

In answer to your question about not being able to compete in Westminster or the National Dog Show, I could care less. Bailey, do you really need to compete and win a dog show to know how much you are love and appreciated? Just look into your humans eyes and you will know how special you are.

Take care,

Grover

Dear Grover,

I know humans think puppies are cute, but they aren’t. Two puppies have moved into my neighborhood and they are annoying me. I am six years old and they interrupt my naps wanting to play all the time. They even have the nerve to steal my toys and nip at me. I try to be patient, but this is getting old and if I try to correct them, the humans get mad and tell me to remember they are just babies. What can I do Grover?

– Sunny

Dear Sunny,

With a dog name like Sunny, I would think you would have a less-grouchy disposition, but you didn’t write me to discuss that, so here goes.

First of all remember that puppy-hood goes by fairly quickly, so eventually they will grow out of their wild behavior. Until then, I would suggest you setting aside some play time every day with them so they know what to expect. It’s all about setting boundaries with these youngsters. They will also learn to respect you as the top dog that you are. Remember when your mom use to correct you when you were just a runt?  Also, I would let them play with your toys. Didn’t your mom teach you to share? They might get so busy playing with your stuff that they will leave you alone.There is a 11 month old puppy that lives next door to me and he has become one of my best friends.

So Sunny, be open to new experiences, its good to get out of your rut every once in a while. You’re an old dog and the youngsters might teach you some new tricks. LOL!

Keep smiling,

Grover

It’s the New Year and it’s time to see what burning questions you have on your mind. So lets check the mail bag! Remember, if you have questions for me, I am always here to help, so drop me a line.

Dear Grover,

Since my last girlfriend, a cute Sheltie dumped me for a German Shepard with a bigger dog house, I have been lonely. Being dumped hurt my ego and I am having problems meeting new dogs. Since you are famous, I thought you could give me some good pick-up lines that have worked for you. I need a self-esteem booster and fast. Can you help me Grover?

Your biggest fan,

Gordon

Dear Gordon,

Do not despair. If that Sheltie left you just because she wanted to be with a dog with a bigger dog house, I say you are lucky she left. What a shallow Sheltie. Gordon my boy, you don’t need some cheesy pick up line, you just need to be yourself. Then ask yourself, how you want to be treated by the next dog that makes your tail wag? Think about that and before you know it, you will be giving off the right scent and I guarantee you will have your pick of the litter. 

Good luck,

Grover

The mail has been piling up as I have been so busy having fun I haven’t been keeping up with your letters, e-mails and Facebook posts, so let’s get down to business!

Dear Grover,

My dog wants to sit and sleep on my feet. Does he have a foot obsession? Any insight will be appreciated.

Molly

Dear Molly,

There are many reasons dogs like your feet, but the number one reason Molly, is that your feet stink. Each foot has over 125,000 sweat glands and that’s more than enough to  give off that wonderful aroma your dog loves so much. The other reason dogs sit on your feet is to keep you from leaving. Doc can’t move when I place all 82 pounds of my body across her toes. Take it as a compliment Molly, your dog loves you and all your smelly parts. No human will ever love you because you stink, but your dog will.

Grover

Dear Grover,

What is it like being such a big celebrity? You are as famous as the Kardashians but I think you are much better looking. Tell me all about it dude.

Your biggest fan, Boomer

Dear Boomer,

Flattery will get you everywhere, so I will let you in on some secrets about my life. The up side is I have the best fans in the world and it is fun when people recognize you, contact you, bring you free treats and appreciate your blog. The down side is that you give up your privacy. People have stopped Doc and I when we are just out taking a walk. Another time I got recognized when I was in the back of Doc’s car driving down the street. This couple pulled up next to us, honked and yelled out my name.  Not only did it startle the both of us, it started holding up traffic and people were mad.

But it’s all good and I feel lucky, so thanks for writing Boomer.

Best wishes,

Grover

I have received some more letters that I want to share with you.

Dear Grover,

I am at my wit’s end. No matter what I do, my dog Trixie gets into the trash. I have tried hiding it in the cupboard, but she opens the door. Putting a lid  on it doesn’t help, she takes it off when I’m not looking. It’s not like I don’t feed her. Please help, I am tired of coming home with trash strewn all over the floor.

Thanks for your help,

Trixie’s Mom

Dear Trixie’s Mom,

For a dog, the trash can is like going to the nearest fast food restaurant. Not knowing what we will find, we keep coming back, hoping for a big score. Even the stinky smell doesn’t deter us. I guess there’s no accounting for taste. For dogs, eating  junk is just part of our evolution.

To bring back some peace into your house, I suggest that you keep the trash in a place that Trixie can’t get to, like the garage or you can get a garbage can with a spring lid. That’s what Doc uses and I’m afraid of it. Take as many precautions as you can, dogs are and always will be scavengers.

Dear Grover,

My dog loves to dig holes all over the yard. Why is he doing that and how do I get him to stop? It’s driving me bananas. I would appreciate any suggestions you may have.

Sincerely,

Frustrated in Fairfax

Dear Frustrated,

You have come to the right person. As a reformed hole digger myself I can help you. Doc had to figure out why I was digging to get me to stop. Being the sleuth that she is, she figured out I was just trying to get comfortable in the yard, by digging holes to lay in and stay cool. (She was right!) Instead of  letting me dig up the whole yard she re-directed me to one spot, behind the bushes where I can lay in my dirt hole and stay cool. 

The way to redirect your dog is to start by choosing a place in the yard you don’t mind having a hole. Then, bury something in the spot and when he starts digging cheer him on. We love praise and will get the message. If he goes back to the old holes, do what Doc did, booby trap them with some rocks and a little ground red pepper on top. That worked on me. Good luck!

Grover

The e-mails keep coming in with questions for me, so lets see what people need advice on this time.

Dear Grover,

Why does my dog lift his leg and pee around some humans and dogs but not others? One day he hiked his leg and almost urinated on my girlfriend’s boot. It was quite embarrassing. Luckily I caught him before he let loose.

Joshua from Jersey

Dear Joshua,

You know how humans greet each other with a handshake, hello, or a hug or kiss depending on how well they know the person? Well dogs greet in different ways too depending on the situation. If a dog is excited, happy to see you, intimidated, or wants to show respect, we pee. I know it sounds like a strange form of flattery, but the dog is telling you “ok you’re the boss of me.” Now dogs do urinate for other reasons, but we will visit that topic on another day because I really need to pee right now.

Grover

Dear Grover,

My humans try to give me a bath at least once a month and I hate that. Then they get mad at me because I run out to the yard and roll around in the smelliest stuff I can find. Can you please explain to humans why we hate baths. Thanks for your help Grover.

Sincerely,

Bentley

Dear Bentley,

Ok all you humans out there, listen up. Dogs don’t like being forced to do things, especially bathing. First of all we don’t understand why you need to try to make us smell like you, we are dogs after all. We get brownie points in the dog world for being smelly. Let me explain it this way, smelling stinky for a dog is like a man wearing a Rolex and driving a Ferrari. It says I am somebody. So give us a break sometimes and just let us smell. The only time to give us a bath is when we encounter the neighborhood skunk, otherwise, we don’t mind our foul odor.

Good luck,

Grover

Lets take a look and see what burning questions you have for me this time.

Dear Grover,

What’s up? I have been wanting to ask someone this for a while, but was too embarrassed to ask until now. So here goes, I like to eat poop. My human finds this disgusting and I get embarrassed when he makes that face and tells me to stop. How do I get over this, I really like poop.

Thanks for your help,

Cooper

Dear Cooper,

Tell your human to get over it. Dogs have evolved from scavengers and there is lots of protein in poop. Granted it is an acquired taste. Humans should understand that, look at some of the disgusting things they eat like cottage cheese and Spam. My advice to you is to eat it when humans aren’t watching, you should be able to enjoy your poop in peace.

 Good Luck,

Grover

Dear Grover,

My dog Daisy likes to sit in front of the mirror and stare at her reflection. The problem is, she doesn’t realize it is her own reflection and begins to growl and bark at what she thinks is another dog. It’s driving both of us crazy. She acts like she has seen a ghost. What should I do?

Best Regards,

Sherman G.

Dear Sherman,

Move the mirror.

Sincerely,

Grover

It’s time to check the mailbox to see what questions people have for me!

Dear Grover,

I know this can be a delicate subject, but I am going to ask it anyway. Why does my dog take so long to find a spot to go to the bathroom and then circle around before he does his business?

Best Regards,

Joe

Dear Joe,

Good question Joe. Well, dogs circle around because we have an instinct to be aligned with the earth’s magnetic field before we poop. In case you think I am pulling your leg, this is backed up by scientific research. Scientists watched 1,893 defections over a two-year period. (Everyone has to make a living somehow). So be patient with us when we go outside. Hope that answers your question.

The best,

Grover

Dear Grover,

How do I get my humans to give me more treats?

Thanks,

Bailey

Dear Bailey,

You have come to the right teacher. There is an art to manipulating humans and I have mastered it. The first thing you do is go over and look at your human with those big puppy dog eyes. Next,  go into a down stay, because humans love it when you are acting like a good dog and they reward that. If that doesn’t work, keep staring at them until they feel guilty and give you a treat. It works for me every time.

Good luck,

Grover

More letters have arrived that need my response. Let’s see what burning questions people have for me this time.

Dear Grover,

Out of the blue, my dog Jett will get up and start chasing his tail round and round until he gets dizzy. What’s up with that?

All the best,

Zach

Dear Zach,

Sometimes I chase my tail in the middle of one of Doc’s counseling sessions. It’s fun and it makes the patients laugh. Doc just ignores me. Other dogs see their tail, get excited and try to catch it. Dogs that do that may be reacting out of instinct. They see something moving and go after it. Some dogs chase their tail to distract themselves until they figure out how to deal with a new situation.

Even though it can be funny to watch Jett chase his tail, don’t encourage it. He could become obsessed and then you would have to bring him to see Doc for some doggy counseling.

Best wishes,

Grover

Dear Grover,

How do I get my humans to let me up on the furniture and in the bed at night? They look so comfortable and I want to be right next to them.Thanks for any advice you can give me.

Ruby

Dear Ruby,

You have come to the right person. For the first year of my life, Doc wouldn’t let me on the furniture or the bed. She said it was because she wanted me to respect her as the pack leader. I finally convinced her that I could respect her while being on the furniture. I started out by sneaking on to the furniture when she wasn’t home, then into the bed when she fell asleep.

Ruby my friend, persistence is the key. Over time, I wore Doc down and she usually has good boundaries. If you follow my methods I predict you will snoozing away on your human’s pillow top mattress in a short few weeks.

Good luck,

Grover

The mailbox is full again, so lets see what questions my fans have this time!

Dear Grover,

When I take my dog Bailey for a walk, he wants to stop at the same tree, pole or fire hydrant that he sniffed  the day before and smell it again like he’s with the FBI collecting evidence for a crime. Then he raises his leg to pee. Why do dogs do that? 

Thanks,

Burt from Michigan

Dear Burt,

Well Burt, what looks like the same old tree and fire hydrant to you, is being “seen” with the nose of your dog and the scents are different everyday. When Doc takes me on our daily walks I do the same thing. She says I am reading my pee-mail and that is so true. Dogs get messages from all the other dogs that went by and lifted their legs on the same objects. If your dog has been neutered, then he is just trying to get the neighborhood gossip, if not, then he could be looking for love. The messages dogs leave are contained in the droplets of their urine, so now you know why sniffing and peeing is so important to us.

Happy Trails,

Grover

Dear Grover,

My dog Lilly likes to sit on my feet and on the feet of other people that she likes. Why does she do that? I have to admit, sometimes it gets annoying.

Best Wishes,

Kim 

Dear Kim,

The first thing you need to know, is all dogs love feet. Why you may ask?  Well, there are a few reasons. One is that dogs get their information about you and the world from their sense of smell. Each human foot contains about 125,000 sweat glands. If your feet have been in socks and shoes all day, they are good and stinky and there is nothing we love more than stink. Second, some dogs are afraid that the human they love will get up and leave them, so they plant their bodies across your feet so you can’t escape. If your dog’s obsession with feet is starting to get on your nerves, try scheduling some cuddle time with her every day as some dogs sit on your feet due to insecurity. But remember, in the end you make the rules and if you don’t like a behavior, you need to let Lilly know. 

Good luck,

Grover

It’s time to answer more letters from my blog and Facebook friends. Keep writing in by leaving a post on the comment section of this blog or on my Facebook page.

Dear Grover,

Tonight I caught my dog Pebbles staring at the wall, looking at her shadow. What is THAT all about?

Signed,

Crystal

Dear Crystal,

Your dog Pebbles is suffering from a classic case of boredom. In order to stimulate herself, she has made friends with her own shadow and obviously likes what she sees. Her shadow is keeping her company. Now, if she should get obsessed with her own shadow, then that’s a whole other issue and we will need to consult Ceasar Millan, the dog whisperer for help. Until then, divert Pebbles by throwing her a ball or a treat. When I chase my own tail out of boredom, Doc plays with me to get my attention.

Wishing you the best,

Grover

Dear Grover,

Why do dogs always want to sniff my private parts? It’s uncomfortable and embarassing.

Signed,

Shy in Seattle

Dear Shy,

Humans have lots of ways they greet each other, like handshakes, hugs and high fives. Dogs smell your privates because we like to keep it simple and it’s easier than going through your billfold to get information about you. One sniff and we know about your health, stress level, hormones and we can even detect some cancers and other medical problems. It’s the same reasons we sniff other dogs when we meet. We want the scoop so we know if we want to take the relationship to the next level. So don’t take it as disrespect, but if it really embarasses you, teach the dog a more polite greeting like shaking hands. I smell Doc everyday to find out what she has been up to because odors never lie.

Take care,

Grover