Today I decided that I was going to make some big improvements in my life. This revelation occurred to me after watching all those infomercials in the middle of the night. Sometimes I find myself so fascinated by the multiple ways I can improve my face, body, love life, finances and psychic awareness that it is hard to turn off the TV and go back to sleep. Being bombarded with all those images of change, it got me thinking that I could do a doggie makeover and not only feel better about myself, but that others would find me more attractive. As there is no time like the present, I decided to get started.
In order to keep myself focused, I made a list of the things I would like to change. After “borrowing” Doc’s credit card, I placed my orders on-line. Thank goodness for same day shipping. The orders started arriving that afternoon.
For the next few weeks, I stayed busy focusing on my make-over, keeping it all a secret from Doc. I read books on how to Think and Grow Rich and Dating for Dummies. I put on wrinkle cream that promised to make me look ten years younger. I even consulted on having a “Quick Lift” but they said they didn’t do them on dogs. I told them that was discrimination and left the office in a huff, but not before I marked my territory on an office chair.
I was starting to get exhausted from all the work outs and changes, but I forged ahead. Some of my friends told me I was becoming so high maintenance that I didn’t have time for them any more. Thinking they did not support my dream or were somehow just jealous of me, I ignored them.
The last day of my makeover, while Doc was away, I completed the final two steps. First, I called The Psychic Hot-Line about my future. After charging over $100 to Doc’s credit card, they told me my life was in line with the planets, whatever that means. Then a dog hair designer came to the house and changed my hair style to match my vision of looking more like a poodle.
Doc walked in the door just after the hair designer left. The look on her face was mixed with shock and amusement, not what I was expecting. “Grover, What have you done to yourself?” she said loudly. After telling her about the make-over and confessing to using her credit card to pay for it all she asked, ” Why did you think you needed to change?” I then looked her in the eye and told her I must have gotten caught up in the hype of all those infomercials. ” They all made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.” I told her. ” That’s what they want you to feel, so you’ll buy their crap. You are loved, because you are perfect just the way you are she said, and don’t ever forget that.”
In case you thought Doc wasn’t going to make me pay back the money I charged to her credit card you were wrong. I had a lot of time to think about the whole makeover thing while I was doing the list of chores she gave me to work off the money I spent. And what did I learn from all of this? I decided to stop worrying about changing myself and focusing on loving who I already am. Not a bad life lesson for this dog.