With the 4th of July approaching, I started thinking about what it means to be independent. Back on July 4, 1776, you humans declared yourself independent from Great Britain with the adoption of a must read document called the Declaration of Independence. As I sometimes feel oppressed by Doc’s rules, much like the colonists probably did with the British, I thought it was about time that I write my own declaration. Using some inspiration from my buddies Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, I am proud to present to you;
Grover’s Guide To Independent Living
I hold these truths to be self-evident, that I have lived under the tyranny of my human, Doc, as she imposes rules, boundaries and limitations on my freedom. Therefore, I am separating from her stupid rules so that I can pursue life, liberty and the ability to do whatever I want when I want. I will however allow Doc to continue providing me with food, shelter, belly rubs and rides to the dog park while I am in pursuit of my freedom. To prove Doc’s tyranny over me, I submit to you the following facts;
She has refused to allow me to eat all the treats provided to me by my human co-workers depriving me of bacon, cheesy fries, White Castle hamburgers and anything else I find in the trash.
She has refused to let me greet people in any exuberant way I please by saying over and over, “four paws on the ground Grover,” or “keep your nose to yourself.”
She has obstructed me from lifting my leg to pee on a co-workers fancy sports car, therefore depriving me of my right to mark my territory.
She has abolished my ability to reproduce by having me neutered against my will.
I, therefore, solemnly publish and declare that I, Grover be allowed to be free and independent and be absolved from all allegiance to the rules that Doc makes for me.
All of you in favor, respond on Facebook or in the comment section and that will let Doc know that her rule as the tyrannis queen is over. Don’t you just love democracy?