Post Holiday Blues

OSU GroverThe holidays are over and I am feeling blah. Even Doc is lying around like an old rag doll looking frayed at the seams. All the glitz, glitter, good food, family and rushing around are over. What’s a dog to do? The new year means a clean slate and new beginnings, so I have decided to chase away the blues by learning something new.

With Doc’s help, I get on the computer to see what interests me. While searching, I come across a web site where you fill out a form that will narrow down your interests and point you toward a rewarding hobby.

The first part of the form is easy. Name, age and sex . Then the form asks me to list my interests. Now that stumps me, but Doc says “what do you do all day when I am gone, just list that”. What does she think I do when she’s not around, take classes at the local craft store? ” So I type in; peeing on fire hydrants, sleeping, eating, barking at the UPS man and patrolling for varmints in the yard. The last part of the form asks me questions like; To relieve stress you__, The one thing you could not live without on a desert island is___.

After completing the form, I push the submit button and the results of the survey appear, reporting the following; For you life is a journey, you take time to smell every single rose. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but that makes you tick. You may like hobbies like archaeological digs, botany or meditation.

I was surprised by how accurate the report was. I do like to smell everything as I am curious about what people have in their purses and pockets. I have tried archaeology in Doc’s back yard digging holes and I love to pee on plants. I also enjoy meditating by napping most of the day.

Excited, I decide it’s important to focus on just one hobby, so I set up an archaeological dig site in the yard complete with tent and tools to see what I can find. I even enlist one of the backyard squirrels as my assistant. I start my first dig on a cold wet January day. Everything is going quite swimmingly when suddenly I hear this awful sound coming from inside the house. I look up to see Doc’s contorted face pressed up against the window. I know that look; I guess it’s time to switch hobbies.