On Monday, after working from home for a few hours, Doc abruptly announced that she was leaving to go to the office. I was more than surprised when she told me that I needed to stay home because she was going to a CPR class and also needed to meet with Human Resources to have her annual background check completed that included fingerprinting. Honestly I was a bit miffed that I could not go with her. I even tried to persuade her by telling Doc that I had just seen a video of a dog on TikTok doing CPR and that I needed certified in case of an emergency, but she just shook her head and walked out the door. Later on when she returned and told me what happened while she was giving her background check, I have to admit that I became a little bit suspicious and was glad that I stayed home. No one wants to be thought of as guilty through association.
Doc said she went to give her background check like she had done every year and everything went normally until it was time to give her fingerprints. She had to place her fingers and thumbs on a screen that was suppose to scan and take a picture, but for some reason Doc’s finger prints would not register correctly. The head of HR tired everything but nothing worked, so she was sent off to her class and told to come back when she was done to try again. After class they repeated the procedure and just like Groundhog day, the same thing happened again. What I found strange about the story was that everyone else was able to give their fingerprints successfully. Feeling frustrated, they told her to go home and they would try another time if needed.
Now if you watch crime shows like I do then you know that any good detective would think something nefarious might be going on, so just like the cops on CSI I started my own investigation. After all, even though I didn’t want to believe it, Doc could be living a secret life or trying to hide something in her past. I see this all the time on Dateline and nobody suspects a thing, As her dog and co-worker I decided right then and there that I was not going to be seen as some poor naive family member that tells the reporter on camera that they never suspected a thing. I also happened to know that her DNA results showed that she is related to Jessie James, and you know what they say about apples not falling far from the tree.
Since I have some connections myself, I decided to start with the head of security where we work. He also happens to be a special duty Columbus police officer. It was easy for me to talk to officer Joe alone without alerting Doc’s suspicions, so bright and early this morning I approached him and told him about my concerns. Officer Joe turned to me with a glint in his eye and said very quietly, ” Well Grover, there are a few things she could be doing if she is trying to hide her past. ” Like what ?” I asked as I leaned in closer. “She could have hacked into the system prior to arriving, to circumvent the scanner or she could have had her fingerprints surgically altered so that they would not scan correctly.” He said with authority. My mind starting racing and my imagination kicked into high gear trying to imagine what double life she has been leading over the past few years. I must have looked both scared and concerned as Officer Joe burst out laughing. ” Are you kidding me Grover? Do you actually think Doc is hiding a secret life?” ” Well when you say it out loud it does sound kind of far fetched.” I said feeling relieved. “Grover you need to stop watching all those crime shows, its making you kind of paranoid. Now isn’t it time for you to go help Doc with Stress Management group?” He asked. So off I went.
I know all of you must be thinking that I have an overactive imagination but like Patricia McKillip once said, “Imagination is the golden-eyed monster that never sleeps. It must be fed; it cannot be ignored.”